Sunday, March 25, 2012

Why I'd Lose the Hunger Games

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve probably heard of the Hunger Games. I’m obsessed. I read all 3 books in 8 days and basically cried when the last one was done. In fact, I’d argue that it’s the greatest book series since Harry Potter. So yes, along with the rest of the world, I went to go see the Hunger Games on opening day. And yes, it was amazing. But this isn’t about that. This is about why I would immediately lose the Hunger Games. Like, step off of the platform and immediately die.
You see, the main character in the Hunger Games, Katniss Everdeen, has been described as “an independent survivalist, lethal, but good at thinking outside the box”, and “a highly skilled archer, hunter, and trapper. A skilled tree-climber and very logical”. I, on the otherhand have been described as a "nice girl. Compassionate and sweet with a big heart. Has a hard time with change and enjoys following a routine."
I don't see this working well for me in a life or death, survival of the fittest, every man for himself type situation.

So here are just a few of the many reasons I would not survive the Hunger Games.

1. I would have a full blown panic attack before I even entered the arena. Now I could always take a Klonopin before hand to ease the nerves, but I have a feeling it might slow me down.

2. I cannot run to save my life. I can barely power walk. And in this case I would need have some serious speed. So after about 45 seconds of running, I would stop to catch my breath while another tribute knifed me right in the back. And there wouldn’t be a dang thing I could do about it.

3. I don’t eat meat. So even if I could shoot a bird or squirrel, I wouldn’t be able to eat it. So unless someone sponsored me and sent me some beans or cake, I would die of starvation.

4. I like to nap. However, in the arena, napping is not really an option if you want to stay alive.

5. I don’t know how to use weapons. I would probably end up poking my eye out with the bow and arrow.

6. Hygiene matters to me. I shower everyday and brush my teeth twice a day. Not being able to stay clean would be enough to make me grab a handful of nightlock and end it all myself.

So Katniss Everdeen, I solute you (and kind of want to be you). For being everything I am not (except for compassionate).

What about you? Have you read the books? Seen the movie? What skills do you have that might help you win the Hunger Games?



 

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