Scary Stories for 20-Somethings
by Caitlin Abber
As a kid, I was a huge fan Goosebumps and Are You Afraid of The Dark? They totally scared the crap out of me, but at the same time, I just couldn’t get enough. I was convinced mummies lived in our attic, and there was definitely something hiding under my bed. When I was a teenager, I really appreciated a good campfire tale, specifically one about urban legends, like an old witch who lives in a haunted house or a cheerleader being stalked by a menacing prank caller. I liked the sense of anticipation I felt while listening to these stories, and knowing that a really terrifying or shocking thing was about to happen, but at least it wasn’t happening to me. I was always safe and secure, pretty much without a care in the world.
But then I graduated from college and become “an adult”, and that was when the scary stuff really began.
Here are 5 Scary Stories That Happen In Your Twenties:
1. You have 48 hours to come up with first, last, and security deposit before you can move into your new apartment. This is a thrilling mission of will and desire, featuring a shameful call to your parents, an assessment of what belongings you can sell on Craigslist and your first foray into handing a stranger a check for thousands of dollars. You may feel a sense of relief when it is over, but as someone who has moved ten thousand times, I can tell you – it doesn’t get any less terrifying.
2. Your boyfriend is in the shower when he receives a text from a girl you only sort of know about. The message confirms your suspicions that he is cheating on you. You read all the texts. Every last one of them. Now you must decide how to tell him that you know what he’s been up to, while admitting you snooped. What are the consequences of both of your actions? Who is really to blame? This is a scenario that will haunt you for years to come! Future relationships will be affected! You will have trust issues forever!
3. At the job interview of a lifetime, you start to notice that your nerves have gotten the best of you, and your armpits feel a little moist. The interview is going on for longer than you expected, as they want you to meet with several members of the company. You find a few minutes to run into the bathroom, and, upon inspection, notice that you have drenched pit stains down to your waist. Do you give up right there? Carry on as if everything is a-okay? Throw yourself on the ground and cry? Wait it out under the hand dryer? This sort of thing always happens to you! When will it end??
4. So you got all that money together and now it’s time to furnish your apartment! Welcome to the Swedish level of hell, IKEA. Enjoy assembling all that stuff you bought, as well as paying off the interest that will accrue on your credit card. Isn’t adulthood fun?
5. Obviously you didn’t get that job you sweated over. So now what? Hey, why not apply for unemployment, literally everyone is doing it! You receive a letter (yes, a real letter) that it takes 4-8 weeks for all the paper work to go through. You have $107.45 in your bank account. Good thing you already have that apartment thing taken care of! Oh wait, your boyfriend is cheating on you and you have to move out. Nightmares for days!
The silver lining is that none of these scary stories are permanent, like, no one is going to pull off the ribbon that keeps your head attached to your body. So, hey, at least there is that!
But then I graduated from college and become “an adult”, and that was when the scary stuff really began.
Here are 5 Scary Stories That Happen In Your Twenties:
1. You have 48 hours to come up with first, last, and security deposit before you can move into your new apartment. This is a thrilling mission of will and desire, featuring a shameful call to your parents, an assessment of what belongings you can sell on Craigslist and your first foray into handing a stranger a check for thousands of dollars. You may feel a sense of relief when it is over, but as someone who has moved ten thousand times, I can tell you – it doesn’t get any less terrifying.
2. Your boyfriend is in the shower when he receives a text from a girl you only sort of know about. The message confirms your suspicions that he is cheating on you. You read all the texts. Every last one of them. Now you must decide how to tell him that you know what he’s been up to, while admitting you snooped. What are the consequences of both of your actions? Who is really to blame? This is a scenario that will haunt you for years to come! Future relationships will be affected! You will have trust issues forever!
3. At the job interview of a lifetime, you start to notice that your nerves have gotten the best of you, and your armpits feel a little moist. The interview is going on for longer than you expected, as they want you to meet with several members of the company. You find a few minutes to run into the bathroom, and, upon inspection, notice that you have drenched pit stains down to your waist. Do you give up right there? Carry on as if everything is a-okay? Throw yourself on the ground and cry? Wait it out under the hand dryer? This sort of thing always happens to you! When will it end??
4. So you got all that money together and now it’s time to furnish your apartment! Welcome to the Swedish level of hell, IKEA. Enjoy assembling all that stuff you bought, as well as paying off the interest that will accrue on your credit card. Isn’t adulthood fun?
5. Obviously you didn’t get that job you sweated over. So now what? Hey, why not apply for unemployment, literally everyone is doing it! You receive a letter (yes, a real letter) that it takes 4-8 weeks for all the paper work to go through. You have $107.45 in your bank account. Good thing you already have that apartment thing taken care of! Oh wait, your boyfriend is cheating on you and you have to move out. Nightmares for days!
The silver lining is that none of these scary stories are permanent, like, no one is going to pull off the ribbon that keeps your head attached to your body. So, hey, at least there is that!
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