Dear Beauty, 1 year later

 

One year ago tonight, I had the privilege of being in LA for the Team True Beauty 1 year anniversary event. It was an amazing night, and if you'd like to read the details of it, you can check out my post from that night here.
But one of the most memorable moments from the night came from Shantel VanSanten, one of the lovely ambassadors for the cause. She gave a speech that continues to move me every single time I hear it or read it. You can read and view her entire speech here.

Her letter to beauty states:
"Dear beauty, I don’t think we’ve formally met. I’m Shantel Van Santen. I’ve searched to find you for a while now. To find out how you define yourself. There are many others searching for you too. Some of us think you’re found in a number on a scale, or a muscle in our arm, the color of our skin, or our reflection in the mirror. We all struggle because we think you seek a perfect image, and we’ve become obsessed with the search. The idea that others might see us as a reflection of you or call us by your names makes us happy. So we look to the media and we look to mirrors, instead of turning our eyes inward. In the depths of our soul you wait. You wait for our search to end, because that’s where you are found. So we were wrong. Because you’re not an image of something that we can see. You’re a feeling. We define you by how we live our life, the kind of person we choose to be, and what’s in our hearts. Thank you for helping us find you. So that your reflection can be felt in others hearts, that they may know that they possess you too. And we can all unite to define you."

So in honor of the 2 year anniversary of Team True Beauty, and the 1 year anniversary of the event, I decided to write my own letter to beauty, 1 year later:
"Dear beauty, we’ve finally met. I suppose we met a long time ago, but I was never quite satisfied with our relationship. However I've also realized that while I don’t always see you in the mirror, I’ve seen you in the smiles of strangers, in the laughter of children, in the way people love and care for each other, and in the world all around me. I have come to realize that you really are more than a number. You aren’t a clothing size, a waist measurement, a height, or number on a scale. And while I now know this to be true, I can’t pretend that I don’t still struggle. Some days it seems impossible to find you in myself. And those are the days that I depend on my friends and support system the most. Those are the days that I am truly blessed, because I find beauty in relationships. I’ve realized that when you stop defining beauty based on numbers and you begin to define it based on what’s in the world around you and what’s in your heart, you, beauty, are much more prevalent. You are everywhere. Beauty, I am very much different than a year ago. I am older, and at times wiser, I have old friends who have stayed in my life and new friends who provide constant support and encouragement. And yet I am also very much the same. I find myself falling into my old ways of thinking. I find myself still trying to find you in a reflection in the mirror. I find myself weeping and falling apart when I think I’ll never find you in myself. And yet I find hope in the statement that “what you do with your life, how you live it, the things you accomplish, the mountains you climb, the struggles you work through, how you treat one another, the kindness you show, the people you inspire, the love that you give, that’s what defines your heart. And that’s what matters. Not what you look like when you do these things in life.”